Financial markets ain't so complicated.
Take L.J. and Later Billy, two ranchers living just down the road a piece. L.J. had an old mare he didn't have much use for but kept it anyway just like his broke down tractor what's been sitting under a shade tree waiting to be fixed coming on ten years now. Well, seems Later Billy dropped by one fine day and offered L.J. fifty bucks for the critter.
L.J. pretended to ponder his windfall and said, "Well, okay. But that's a mighty fine mare."
Well, Later Billy had hardly got out of the driveway before L.J. was thinking, "Later Billy is dumber than he looks but he knows horseflesh. Maybe I just got took." So then and there he made plans to visit Later Billy and buy back his mare.
"Later Billy," he said after letting three days pass, "I decided I just can't live without that mare a mine. Tell you what, I'll give you a hundred dollars hard cash right now to get her back."
Later Billy was plumb puzzled. He only bought the critter cause he heard L.J. was on hard times. But his finances weren't all that good neither so he took the money and L.J. went off with his old mare.
Then, Later Billy got to pondering real hard which weren't all that easy after he got whopped on the head with a beer bottle at the Bar None Bar and Barbeque a week back.
"I must a missed something." he said to himself, "Maybe she was worth more than a hundred bucks after all. So after letting a respectable amount of time pass -- but not too much -- he drove over to L.J.'s and offered him one hundred and fifty bucks for the mare.
Well, L.J. was plumb dumbfounded and his brainwork never worked fast enough to let him figure out what was going on at any give moment, so he took the loot and waved goodbye to Later Billy and his mare once again.
Then it hit him! Later Billy must have come up with some new fangled critter judging device that could see what the eye couldn't, or maybe he got hold of some wonder drug that could make that mare turn into a filly again. So, quicker than thought -- which for L.J. wasn't fast at all, kinda like pouring molasses in winter -- he hauled his horse trailer over to Later Billy's to buy back his mare. Her name was Lula which he had nearly forgot till he arrived at his destination.
"Later Billy," he said all breathless, "I gotta get Lula back right away."
"Lula?"
"My mare. The misses is plumb put out about me selling her off. I can't go home without her. I've got two hundred dollars right here in my pocket to buy her back." He lied about the misses part.
"Wellll" he replied,"That's a mighty pretty name. I'll have to tell Ol' Harmon Hicks cause he owns her now."
"What? Are you plumb out of your gourd? We were both making good money off a her."
L.J. figured there was no call to try and buy that critter off a Harmon cause everyone who ever laid eyes on him just knew to a fraction that he was flat out dumb and never knew how to make a profit off a anything. Let alone a way overpriced worthless mare. Besides, if you ever bought anything off a Harmon word would get out that you were either a thief, taking advantage of a feller weak in the mind, or a fool for coveting any of his trash.
See? That's how financial markets work. And just goes to show how two fellers could make a living off a one critter and watch the stock price go up on every trade. They might a become richer than rich if Later Billy hadn't bailed out on the arrangement.
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3 comments:
I deleted this comment cause it was mine and I thought I was in that other universe being somebody else.
Thunder One utters:
PRE-CLASSIFIED: same division as pot bellied pigs, llamas, emus, sugar gliders, etc. Buyer Beware. Us horsey people call this kind of horse trading "The Scottsdale Dream".
Many years ago a banker in the Southwest imported an Arabian stallion to please his little woman. Heads up went the Jones crowd. The little horse had both front legs growin' outta the same hole, and was useless for herding cattle or any other kind of work, 'cuz Arabs spend more time running sideways then straight out. But with a patent leather halter, all that vacuuming, and a quart of glossy laser-sheen, he looked shiny and expensive. Soon the Banker's buddys all had one parked in their yard. Very expensive yard ornaments.
One day the Banker said " we gotta make money on these horses". So he gave lots of $$$$$ for his friend's horse. An appropriate time later, his friend returned the favor. These high dollar transactions were highly publicized, and the price went up, up, up. More and more silly people climbed the pyramid of equine prosperity. Because they could.
Last year the Scottsdale folks finally made big news, as part of their annual action was on television. That's because the high selling Arabian horse was a stallion that sold for $1,000,000.00. This breed of horse only weighs about 875 pounds, so that's $1,142.86 per lb on the hoof. Of virtual money.
Dream on....at least Later Billy had the good sense to dive outta a precariously cantilevered situation before it collapsed like a pile of giggling teenagers standing on each other's shoulders. In due time, so does the Banker.
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