FROZEN ASSETS

Big Junior was sittin at the Bar None Bar & Bar-B-Q the other day lookin like he had just lost his best hound, his pickup or maybe even his wife.

"What's got you so weepy lookin?" I asked.

That's when he said his assets was frozen at the bank. He seemed mighty peeved so I left him well alone and went on about more important business, moved over a couple of bar stools and ordered another longneck.

Then, yesterday, while I was sittin down by the stock tank fishin for anything what might be interested in a left-over noodle I remembered what the banker feller told me when I tried for a loan.

"Mr. Gravis," he said squintin at my over his tee-niny glasses, "you need some assets to back this up."

Well, at first I thought he was startin in on some kind of off-color joke, or maybe he got wind of that nickname "Gone-butt" what won't stick to me less it's behind my back. I pondered hard and quick.

"Ass sets?" I asked. "They come in pairs?"

The banker feller looked at me like I was as dumb as he was ugly.

"No Mr. Gravis," he replied talkin to me like Molly that kindergarten teacher does to everyone, "I mean, property, like cattle or a tractor."

Anyway, my point here bein, while I was fishin and ponderin frozen assets I got to wonderin why anyone would want to freeze a tractor and exactly where the bank's freezer was what kept Big Junior's twenty or so hogs.

Then it come to me quicker than thought. Why not take take that freezer full of deer meat I got and let the bank hold on to that so's next time I go in for a loan I have assets ready and waitin.