The Mare Bailout

Well, seems I no sooner posted that little item on Lula when I got an email from Big Junior saying he had that mare of L.J.'s. Turns out Harmon Hicks failed to consider the finer points on the care and feeding of horseflesh.

Not being all that bright, Mr. Hicks kept Lula in his front yard which was all the spare land he had on that small lot on the edge of town. And there weren't much grazing room on his place what with all the broke down lawnmowers -- the riding and push-type -- two rusty old cars sinking down into Mother Earth while sitting on cinder blocks. And, there was his woodpile collection of warped two by fours, pealing plywood and such. Pile on top of that he had about eleventy dozen spare auto parts laying about, scraps of tin roofing and dang near as many pot plants scattered around with dead stems sticking out like grave markers.

That's when he called on Big Junior and offered him twenty five bucks to take Lula off a his hands. Big Junior needed the money so he could pay off part of his sizable tab at the Bar None Bar and Barbeque. He had no use for Lula the Mare, and neither did anyone at the bar.

That's when Big Junior called me cause he figured I was a financial wizard and could give him some insider advice on his burden of horseflesh.

"Wellll," I said holding back on the rest of the sentence just to make him figure I was a right smart feller and thinking double hard, "You could give L.J. a call and ask him if he wanted Lula back. But you oughta know here and now that he went and bought himself a pretty little filly and is going back in the horse trading business. He may not want to use up any grazing room for a worthless, wore-out, no-account, nearly-gone mare even if she has a mighty pretty name like Lula."

"Reckon he'd take her off my hands for fifty bucks?"

Okay, if anyone out there is interested, for as little as one hundred bucks you can have a fine mare what could bring top dollar at one of them glue factories in Fort Worth. You need to bring your own horse trailer to haul her off cause I ain't got one. I sold mine awhile back for scrap and doubled my investment.